Building and Breaking Down Community

Both progress and serious stress showed themselves in the last few days.

I am proud to report that Team Avalanche - Erin, Gabor and myself - have the makings of real activities with goals, timelines, and partners, we have the beginnings of a fundraising strategy and a budget, and we have much of the required infrastructure - a part time personal assistant, David, to relieve Gabor’s 24/7 schedule, another, Lara, on her way, an office set up in Avalanche, most of the equipment working, at least most of the time, good video equipment, functioning internet and e-mail accounts, and a growing Facebook group.

On the “down” side Erin’s home situation, with kids being supported by her circle, is rocky and we almost had to send her home today, and issues that smack of “scarcity” dog our energy, focus and effectiveness. This morning, after Gabor tripped twice and I ran into part of my desk turning around to have breakfast, and Erin and I met yet again in the van which sometimes doubles as our “office”, I recognized that I was – jealous - as two bus sized RV’s drove in tandem into River’s End, each towing a full sized SUV, and out jumped – 3 people!

Of course I have never spent any time in my life pursuing lots of money and “things”. In general I have tended to prefer a life less focused on material things. I could have - and still could - justify my tendency to avoid the materialistic! This morning I got in touch with how I hold it as either/or when it possibly could be both/and.

I have been living in that I am not wealthy because I am pursuing higher values!!! But, would the World Peace through Inclusion Tour have been any less valid if I had sought ways to afford a bus (or even two!) that easily accommodated 3 or 4, and an office, and was accessible, and towed a truly comfortable, accessible car?

Of course we still can!

My other reflection was even messier. One of Erin’s children frequently displaces an utter lack of respect for adults, particularly those who are charged with the responsibility of educating him and giving him a home. Gabor and I had a long conversation about discipline this morning, and I, somewhat uncharacteristically for me, was considering the possible value of corporal punishment, at least as one of a few – rather extreme – strategies that sometimes, when used within proper limits, actually work. For example I am in a long term friendship with a young woman who, when she was a teenager, after years of careful attention by many people, got herself into prison for three years. There she benefited greatly physically, emotionally and educationally. It isn’t what I wanted to believe. There were times when I almost hoped things would break down so that I could say: “See, prisons are bad.” – but in her case prison saved her life.

On my afternoon stroll I was more thinking about why I was caught up in such dark thoughts. I realized that for a few weeks I have been hearing stories like the Wallmart employee who was trampled to death by early morning Thanksgiving shoppers and a young man in a nearby nursing home who was starved to death.

My own story and my own mission are founded in the story my father told me when I was six about doctors who were killing children with Down Syndrome. In short, from that moment I drew a life long intention to alter the “value” that “the disabled” have in society’s perception so that the desire to kill us would be muted.

Simply, it is a general pattern that shows up in all societies at some points and more or less often that people will kill even a member of their own family if they perceive that that person cannot or will not participate in sustaining the other members of the group/family. The other side of this pattern is that people will go to great length to sustain a member who is seen to be contributing typical or extraordinary value to them.

For me this has sparked an intention to deeply root the perception that people who are labeled disabled, and especially people who are not speaking, are contributing in both ordinary and often unusual and very valuable ways. One of these ways is by helping to make people more peaceful.

I don’t think I have turned into an abuser of children. I do think I fear for the retribution that the young man’s behaviour may draw on him in his childish waywardness, and so instinctively I am triggered to want to limit him and “get his attention”. The instinct runs deep and I am as capable of feeling it as anyone, even justifying it!

As a alternative, I think I and others need to admit that the instinct is there, and that it comes up when we feel threatened in our own survival. Then, perhaps, we can create effective, peaceful ways to sustain and nurture each other so that our threat levels can subside.

Judith